By Stan Goodenough
Jewish thinking does not regard death itself as tragic (though there are of course tragic deaths, as when lives are cut of prematurely.) If a person dies after living a a full and meaningful life the death, however, his death is not seen as a tragedy. Jews do believe in a world to come where the soul of a man is judged and can continue to live.
At times of death Jewish observance focuses on preserving the dignity of the deceased and supporting and encouraging those who mourn.
Religious laws decree:
- The body of the dead person must be clothed in white.
- A dead man must also be wrapped in his prayer shawl.
- It is forbidden to embalm the dead. His blood is considered a part of the person and may not be thrown away as waste.
- It is considered dishonoring to put the dead on display in an open coffin.
- Cremation is forbidden. The body must be buried in the earth.
- Rabbinical law prohibits autopsies in the vast majority of circumstances.
- The dead person must be buried as soon as possible after death.
A proper and biblical way in which to express grief for the dead is to tear a garment one is wearing.
Three periods of mourning traditionally follow the funeral – the shiva, the shloshim and the avelut:
The shiva – which means “seven,” and refers to a seven day period of mourning that immediately follows the death. One sits shiva for the death of father, mother, husband, wife, son, daughter brother or sister.
Shiva is usually held in the home of the deceased. During the shiva the mourners:
- sit on low stools
- don’t wear leather footwear
- do not shave or cut hair
- do not wear cosmetics
- may not go to work
- avoid pleasure including bathing for comfort, sexual relations, the wearing of new or freshly washed clothing, the study of torah.
The shloshim (which means thirty), is the first 30-day period following the death. During this time it is forbidden to attend parties, marry, shave or cut one’s hair.
The avelut (mourning) period is observed only for a lost mother or father and lasts for 12 months from the day of death. All merry occasions should be avoided during this time. The sons of the deceased say kaddish (which means “holy”) daily for 11 out of the 12 months.
The kaddish, which must be recited while assuming a respectful stance, is in the Aramaic language and not in Hebrew. It is not really a prayer for the dead but rather is a prayer in praise of God. Once the year is over it is forbidden to continue living in a way that demonstrates one’s grief.
© Israel My Beloved
